Do not wave at Bob

Before we moved to Korea, we were rather surprised by how many people asked us, "North? Or South?"

In case you’re wondering, no one goes to North Korea. Or at least if they do, they don’t come back. And in case you haven’t read the news in the past 70 years, tension between North Korea and basically the rest of planet Earth has been high for quite some time now.

So there’s the Demilitarized Zone, or DMZ. Side note, every time I see “DMZ” I want to write “DMX.” But really, too much time at that place would make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here. 

So this little Demilitarized Zone is actually the most heavily guarded border in the world. Must have been named on opposite day. It’s approximately 3 kilometers wide and runs from east to west across the Korean peninsula, roughly along the 38^th parallel. And right smack dab in the middle of the Zone is the demarcation line, or the real border between these two siblings who just can’t get along.

Our first destination on the trip towards communism was as a place called Imjingak Resort Park. Besides the pretty little pond and a souvenir shop, it was anything but a resort.

Our tour guide, Mr. Park

There are several known tunnels between North and South Korea, and perhaps others that have not been discovered yet. Who dug those tunnels? North Korea. Why? To be sneaky and do mean North Korea things that aren’t allowed. We had the chance to go into one of these tunnels. And I must say, it’s actually quite impressive that any group of people could put so much work into this type of project!

The entrance to the tunnel, from outside

Then we went further north, to Dora Observation Point. It was a drizzly day with low visibility, but from Dora Observation Point we could see into North Korea and view several of the landmarks you may have heard of before. Like the gigantic flagpole that North Korea just had to put up so they could have a bigger flagpole than South Korea. It’s so big that if the flag hangs on it on a rainy day, it will tear under it’s own weight. Now that’s what I call, so dumb. Really dumb. And we could see the fake city. Yeah, it’s really there. And it’s really fake.

Tourists, hungry for a glimpse of communism

With a South Korean soldier, overlooking North Korea

A brief lunch break offered us some traditional Korean food.

Then we continued on to the Dorsan Train Station. It’s the last station on a rail line that could continue through North Korea and eventually connect to rail routes in Europe. But North Korea is a jerk and doesn’t want people to have that option.

Where the rail line could be. Just dreaming big.

Left: How long the Berlin Wall divided Germany. Center: Piece of the Berlin Wall. Right: Counter, still totaling how long North and South Korea have been divided.

Our final stop was at the Joint Security Area. To say that the environment at the JSA was tense would be an understatement. This is the area where South Korean guards and North Korean guards stand and stare at each other. All. Day. Long.

That North Korean guard up on the steps, we called him Bob. We were given specific instructions to not wave at Bob. And to not point at Bob. And generally not do anything that Bob might notice. Do not act a fool, up in here, up in here. Wrong place, wrong time.

See Bob up there? He's dressed to the nines in that darling brown coat.

Not a wax statue. Not even the slightest hint of expression either.

That skinny wire represents the line of demarcation 

Some of the South Korean guards stand half-exposed facing Bob so that they appear to be on guard, but ready to take cover if needed. The South Korean guards who stand fully exposed are the bullet catchers in the event that there would be bullets in the vicinity. And everyone – Koreans and Americans – wears sunglasses. Even indoors. Even when the lights are off. It helps them look more intimidating. Guys, I could not make this stuff up.

The Bridge of No Return

The bus ride back home was relaxing though. We watched The Interview for a bit of comic relief. Nope, not making that up either.