You promise me

There is SO much to buy in Bali. There is so much to buy in Indonesia in general. After all, a lot of the clothing in your very closet probably has tags that claim Indonesia as their birthplace.

Personally, I am a person that loves to shop. I could just go to stores, look at all the things, touch all the things, try on all the things, and pick out a lot of it in an effort to build a Pinterest-worthy wardrobe. Shopping to me is what video games are to my husband. So when we got to Bali and saw that nearly every city street was lined with shops that were just bursting at the seams with every item imaginable, you can only imagine my delight. Not to mention, the price of every item was arguable. Dress for $8? Yes please. Tank top for $3? We’ll take four. Souvenir bracelets for less than $1 each? My wrists are calling. Board shorts that look like Quicksilver brand but a fraction of the price? Oh, we’ll make use of those.

Balinese Red Bull for the upcoming bartering marathon

But wait, there’s more. Not only can you find very decent knock-offs of your favorite jerseys, Louis Vuitton or Michael Kors handbags, Nike running shoes, and Ray Ban or Oakley sunglasses, but also, there are plenty of local-type items up for grabs including light tank tops, those frilly shorts that look like pajamas, sarongs, wood carvings, figurines, and jewelry.

But wait, there’s more. In Bali, you don’t have to even go into the stores to spend what’s left of your money after the money exchange shops have taken their cut. Many of the vendors will come right to you. Sometimes they will come in droves. Sometimes they will come up to you as you’re enjoying a lovely dinner on the beach in the vicinity of a local restaurant.

Bean bag seats for dinner on the beach

Enjoying a lovely dinner on the shore

And enjoying the live music

They’re selling the usual items. Bracelets, sarongs, paintings, kites shaped like a pirate ship, a light-up Bluetooth speaker that looks like a miniature VW van, paper lanterns, henna tattoos, and hats.

Sometimes they’re selling services. Massage on the beach for $5. Manicure and pedicure for $7. (These things were awesome.) But one day after surfing, Mark and I decided to sit and take a little break on the beach and a vendor came up to us with a most unusual service. She approached Mark, whipped out a pair of tweezers, and began to pluck hairs out of his ears. Then she indicated to me that Mark needed this, because, “look at his ears!” Now let me just say for the record, as Mark’s wife of over three years now, Mark does not have an ear hair issue by any stretch of the imagination. Regardless, we wondered, who on earth continues to pay this woman for her services? Are there really enough ear hairs on people on this beach to provide a livelihood for this lady? Has she not realized that this service is not only disgusting and highly embarrassing, but it is also excruciatingly painful for anyone in a ten-foot radius of her? It took several firm “no thank-you’s” from both of us to get the ear hair plucker to leave Mark alone and target another victim.

Surfing day

Now you might be saying, “Why can’t you just be nice to the vendors? Just say no thanks?” Very valid question, and one that my brother asked me when we FaceTimed in Bali. I consider myself a nice person and I would love to just say “no thanks” to a vendor with a smile on my face. And at first, I did plenty of this.

Relaxing day surfing & beaching

But the vendors persist. And it seems that once you’ve been approached by one vendor, others pick up on that radar and begin to flock towards you. And saying “no” one time doesn’t work. You have to avoid eye contact and say “no” many times. Don’t say “maybe.” Maybe means yes. Don’t say “later.” They will find you later. They will remind you that you told them “later” and that “you promised” them that you would buy. They will tell you their name (and point to where it is written on their hat) and make you remember them specifically so that when it comes time to buy that $1 bracelet, you buy it from Katarina and not from Melanie.

Chelsea being waited on by 2 vendors
Not pictured: 2 vendors selling bracelets and 1 selling ice cream

So once you find your perfect vendor (i.e. one that does not completely annoy or harass you to make their sale), let the bartering games begin! They start with high prices, but we learned to stand our ground and pay what we thought some items were really worth. And you have to stand your ground because some vendors liked to play hardball. And others either didn’t seem to get the whole “bartering” thing or they were just playing us for fools. (Probably the latter.) The starting price for a bracelet might be 30,000 Rupiah (about $2). We say, “No way. We’ll pay 5,000.” They may then say, “20,000” or they may say “40,000.” Um, I thought when we barter we meet somewhere in the middle? Yep, this is why you stand your ground and don’t get taken advantage of for being a tourist. Sure, the difference is only a couple of dollars, and I do realize that we were in a third-world country, but dishonest vendors anywhere make me mad and I don’t appreciate their tricks and strategies. So thanks but no thanks, Katarina. Your bracelets are no good here.